Marja Hacks Up More Thursday Mirth

Marja just sent me this Thursday funny, How to Trick People Into Thinking You're Good Looking, and although the lass in the video is a little annoying, I found it amusing (and a little too true for some of you) so I decided to share.

Good Day

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Steve Carell from Between Two Ferns

Lots of good fat and big nose jokes here in this Steve Carrell vs. Zach Galifianakis interview.

Don't Fret: Missing Columnists to Return

Busy gas bagging, acting entitled.
 Expected back THIS week.

Under the Weather. Has the Sniffles.

Expected back next week.

Suffering from Exhaustion. Return date undetermined

Suffering from being self-absorbed and annoying. 

Back when wants to blog about herself.

Folding Tips, Tea Leaves, and 0.19 oz of Waste.

Diana the temp sent this "How to Fold a T-shirt" video to select persons (women and gays) in the office today and she was just so excited about it (The e-mail began with, "YOU MUST SEE THIS!!!!"  I was startled by the enthusiasm) that I decided to post it here. I wish it had subtitles.

This reminds me of an e-mail thread last week that was sparked when Diana the temp sent the following e-mail to EVERYONE in our San Diego office:

Not trying to be rude, but please, pick up your tea leaves out of the sink. I have found them in the in the kitchen sink as well as the ladies restroom sink.

Tea Leaves? There are lots of Asians here, so Tea Leaf droppings are common, but who was drinking tea in the bathroom? Gross.  I was still scratching my head from that one when Linda, second in command of the entire company, wasted her valuable time by piggybacking on Diana's e-mail and sent out the following:

and [stop leaving] half empty creamer container on top of the kitchen counter.

0.38 oz

I thought, "This is getting ridiculous, but I am curious as to what kind of tool would leave a little ass half-empty cream container on the...." when Bottom Boy jumped into the fray and puked up the following e-mail:

I typically leave half of a creamer container next to the coffee pot bec I never use the whole thing… So I guess I’ll take the responsibility for that one! Just figured someone else would use it…

Sweet Oprah. Forgetting for a moment that he thinks he is too precious to consume the entire, absurdly tiny serving, that big dummy actually thought someone would walk into the kitchen and see a half empty cream container sitting on the counter and just dump it into their coffee. I sent him the following short and sweet e-mail:

You're a tool bag.

He should be grateful the incident occurred last week, and not yesterday, as yesterday I was still feeling bold from my weekend as a pseudo-top at Comic-con, where I bossed folks freely and let everyone know exactly what was up (I say "pseudo" because all of this bravado occurred while I was safely tucked behind the safety of Marja's skirt). Now, had this tom-foolery occurred yesterday, I would have taken Bottom Boy out to the dumpsters at the back of the building, bent him over, and then banged some brains into that buffoon.

And with that....

Good Day

Misc.

I'm having a little too much fun catching up on all the viral crap I missed over the weekend and I thought it would be stingy not to share some of it. First up, The video above of a whale breaching onto a yacht off Cape Town, South Africa makes me laugh much harder than it should.

Then, this picture of  a drunken, crotch-flashing, Paris Hilton from TMZ is just a mess. Don't you judge her. Minus the crotch flash, almost all of us have been there.

 

For some reason, I was drawn to the sweetness and unhinged desperation of this comic I poached from WOW.

And yes I know the Mel Gibson mash-ups are tired. But in this video you'll see that Mel's life would be easier if he just switched teams. He clearly works better as an abusive top.




WARNING: Do not watch this trailer for the upcoming season of Dexter if you aren't up to date. I got goose bumps and am grateful to see that it looks like Quinn will be getting more screen-time.

That's all for now.

Church Owned by Clever Dicks

HAHAHAHAHHA!

You simply must go to the Comics Alliance web-site for more photos and videos of the counter-protesters that greeted, and over-powered, clueless Fred Phelps and his hateful Westboro Baptist Church after they made the foolish decision to protest Comic-Con on the grounds that it promotes idolatry. Nerds are clever dicks and you do not want to mess with them. Just reading that the crowd chanted...

"WHAT DO WE WANT" "GAY SEX" "WHEN DO WE WANT IT" "NOW!"

....makes me so very happy.

see more here

When I watch 80's pop rivals, Tiffany and Debbie (now Deborah) Gibson, battle it out in this preview for Syfy's upcoming Mega Python Vs Gatoroid movie I think:

• Both of these women have enjoyed international stardom with #1 records, several top ten hits and multi-platinum albums under their belts. Something that is, statistically, close to impossible to achieve. 
• Now the most important number 1 in their life is the 1st of the month, because that's when rent is due, and its time to hustle. That is why they are slumming in low-budget shlock like Mega Python Vs Gatoroid .
• Deborah Gibson sure is pretty scrappy to take on the much thicker Tiffany.
• Tiffany used some of that "I Think We're Alone Now" money to get a really good boob and lip job.

Good Day